Life is too short to be spent with the wrong people, and as you grow up, you need to learn the skill of selecting the people with whom you can socialize. Befriending a slew of toxic people makes you liable to experience depression and anxiety. So, during your quest to be yourself and to live the life you want, it only takes few little kicks to get yourself on the right track!
It is noteworthy to mention that avoiding a toxic character should come after adequate thought and without any hasty judgement; otherwise, you will end up feeling like a lonely little petunia in an onion patch. It is important to try to strike up a rapport with everyone you know, and even when you encounter a toxic character, remove yourself out without striking any heated or petty conversations and without harbouring hard feelings.
Tell yourself that you are just calling a halt to the relationship because it is not suitable for you. And, most importantly, refrain from urging others to avoid the same person you are avoiding, and always wish him/her the best. Consider also kicking in to offer help when needed.
Did you ever encounter this person who loves making his friend the core of his condescending jokes? Some people relish talking nuisance about their friends, especially when others are around. They call this joking to cheer others up, yet in reality, this is how they try to gain popularity at your expense.
Abusers don’t treat everyone they know with toxicity; they rather have a strategy of treating their friends and close relatives in a patronizing manner, yet they treat their superior acquaintances with a striking level of politeness and kindness! Yikes. Abusers also enjoy diminishing the experience of others by one-upping them.
Once you start removing yourself away from your abusive friend, you will notice the improvement of his demeanour. This shouldn’t deceive you because once you get closer again, everything will revert to the way it was. So, if you have this kind of friend, reclaim your life back, and enough with the masochism!
Some people befriend you not because of your character or because of the time they love to spend with you, but rather for their personal needs. Needy people will contact you only when they need your help, be it emotional or financial. However, they won’t be similarly responsive when you ask them for help.
Surely, asking friends for help is not a wrong thing to do and is even a good sign of trust, yet when things start going beyond their normal threshold, you should start calling this friendship into question. If your conversations with your friend merely revolve around his needs and problems without any noticeable reciprocity, consider stepping back.
One of the best ways to check whether your friend is needy or not is to stop with the Orpah-give-away attitude and apologize for not being able to fulfil your friend’s needs. See how they will react; if they say that you are not a true friend although they always become invisible once you ask for their help, you are right about your suspicions. However, take note that needy people are super clingy and are difficult to avoid, so try to be patient once you make up your mind to leave and avoid being cruel.
We know that many readers might disagree with us on this point, but we can argue that people who love peering into the lives of others are not trustworthy. Do you think that friends who relish other people’s misfortunes are worthy of your time? Do you really believe that these friends will never tell tales about you when you are absent despite what they say about others? Well, even if you think so, think about the time you spend with this friend. Does it add to you anything?
When you engage with a scandalmonger, you are liable to become one yourself. You will gradually get ashamed of yourself over time, and at a point, you will become addicted to scandalmongering. Nobody wants that to happen. Life is full of many interesting stories and useful activities to make for a memorable time with your friend without resorting to snide conversations. We can’t but mention the famous saying of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”
Also, passing on scandals and rumours about people is bound to backfire when they find out that you have been gossiping about them, and these words will cut deep and make you glean many haters. We suggest that you start by trying to correct the demeanour of your scandalmonger friend by steering the conversation to another topic or by saying any positive thing about the person your friend is gossiping about. Imagine if we all decided to pass on positive gossips, how better our world would be! If your friend adheres to gossiping, consider stepping back.
To be honest, pessimists can be good to live with only if you are downbeat and pessimistic. So, if you are a committed pessimist carrying an unbearable weight of existence, there is nothing incongruous about befriending a pessimist; ironically enough, the two of you are likely to establish a deep friendship for a lifetime, but please stay away from other people. For optimistic people who don’t like to believe that bad outweighs good in this life, befriending a pessimistic person can be a real downer. The negative comments about how dreadful life is are likely to affect your work performance and change the way you see the world.
Friends who always dump their problems onto every conversation are soul destroyers, and sometimes removing them out of our lives is the best way to remain headed out, especially when you are a sensitive person who gets easily affected by the mood of others.
Spreading negativity sometimes stems from constant problems one is dealing with, which is understandable to a great extent because we can’t adopt a Pollyanna attitude all the time. We all are prone to suffer from depression, and a true friend can’t but offer help in these situations. However, some people love grumbling and griping for the sake of infusing the lives of others with negativity and drawing them towards failure, and these are the ones you should stay away from. Therefore, before you consider departure, make sure that you know about the true intentions of your pessimistic friend.