Many of us millennials in our prime find ourselves suffering from the same predicament:
we just can’t make a long-term relationship work. The answer should not throw the blame on anyone, be that you or your ex-partners, unless one of you was conspicuously and inarguably abusive. Otherwise, there are quite common habits you might be involuntarily doing to destroy a perfectly happy relationship. If the below habits are any familiar, you have your answer.
You have set unrealistic standards to yourself
This is one huge problem that has a myriad of aspects tied to it. Social media has allowed us to follow hundreds of millions of people around the world who are just one click away from us. This has caused us to always question our partners, our physical appearance, and our happiness, and whether they’re good enough. Those we see on social media, posing perfectly and only choosing to show us the silver lining of their lifestyles have become a dangerous standard. Of course, they’re only perfect until we get closer to them and realise there’s more to them than just their photogenic looks we see in the pictures they post, and how cool or sweet they seem to be when interacting with others.
This problem probably has two solutions: either realising that no one is perfect, whether it’s our partners or those we see on the internet, or coming into terms with the fact that you’re clearly not searching for a real long-term relationship, only arm candy to show off to others.
You cannot stop comparing what you have with others
Another result of social media is constantly competing with others. Whereas only seeing the positives of someone’s life can be a good thing because it spreads positivity, which is much needed in this dark age, the negative comes in many forms. The most common is actually thinking life can be flawless, and so this makes you feel as if you are somehow failing at life. This also touches our relationships, considering it’s so easy to find a romantic couple on the internet who have somehow managed to concoct the quintessential relationship, where all they do is consistently tell each other lovey dovey nonsense and they don’t even seem to be suffering financially in any shape or form. The solution to this problem is pretty close to that of the first: you need to understand that even those people you idolise do not have perfect lives, and neither should you.
You’re running away from your problems
There’s nothing easier than breaking up with your partner once a problem that we can’t manage to solve on the spot arises. There is absolutely no relationship with only ups and no downs, no matter how rich or smart a couple might be, there will always be things you disagree on or things that grind your gears –it can all reach a middle ground if you put the effort into it, what wouldn’t be solvable is this inherent belief that the ideal relationship is one where you would never have to face a single issue. You do not need to find an argument-free relationship, you only need a partner with whom you can argue without screaming at the top of your lungs to no avail.
You’re there for them through thick…and thick
You have approached the relationship thinking you’ll be as sacrificial as it will take you, but you ended up only blind chasing ecstasy no matter what the price might be, and it’s usually related to some obsession with materialism. You’re willing to be there for your partner…so long as he has his car, a flat in a nice neighbourhood and showers you in gifts whenever he has some extra cash up his sleeve. This will always prevent you from finding happiness in any relationship, and if financial stability is a crucial standard to you, you might want to achieve that on your end first instead of trying to find it in others.