Did you have a real wedding?
Wedding Bells. Tying Knots. Happily Ever After. Just Married. Floral Decorations. Wedding Themes. Ballrooms. Wedding Dresses. Wedding Suits. Bridesmaids. Bachelorettes. Invitations. Wedding Entrances. Wedding Cakes. DJS. Dancing. Eating. Bride. Groom. Hairdresser. Make-up artist. Photographers. Videographers. Photo sessions. Giveaways. Wedding Party.
The BIG QUESTION is “WHAT IS ALL THAT FOR?!”
What is the importance of a wedding that we spend months planning for a few hours? What is the importance of a wedding that we spend months or even years working to pay for that night?
“WEDDING” originally came from the word ‘WED’ in Old English, which meant ‘to pledge, to make a covenant, to promise, or to bring together’.
What do we pledge for? What does the covenant consist of? What do we promise? What do we bring together?
For when two souls unite together, it’s no longer two individuals but rather one combination. It’s no longer YOU and I but it’s a WE. It’s not what you want or what I want but what’s best for US and OUR relationship.
What does that mean?! So to wed someone isn’t just celebrating for the night? It’s not just partying and having an extraordinary night that doesn’t skip the mouth of a person whether they attended or not? It’s not just trying to make a fairytale real?
What if we took all that away from a wedding; what would a wedding be like? How else would you be celebrating? What would you be truly celebrating? Who would you be? What would you feel? What would you miss out on? How would your wedding seem to you, many years later? What would you name that day? What would your wedding mean to you then? What would you prepare before your wedding day?
Whether you are the bride, groom, or the guest, most people only think of the wedding as the few hours spent that night. Actually, a wedding is supposed to be the start of a lifetime, the opening party, the celebration of who you are becoming. I’m not saying not to party and enjoy, but rather I’m saying party and enjoy but there is even more to that, that we usually leave out.
So here are a few thoughts to ponder on before the next wedding you attend as a bride, groom or as a guest to make the wedding the start of a lifetime for the couples and not just a few hours spent partying:
- What would be important for you in the wedding night?
- What is essential to be there in the wedding?
- Who do you want to be in service for the couples’ marriage?
- What promises will you make?
- Where would your stretch be?
- What would be the title of your marriage?
- What would you rehearse for?
- What vision will you hold?
- What conversations will you carry-on?
- What advice or prayers would you offer the bride and groom?
- What would be the focus of the night?
- What would you feel differently?
- What emotions would you express?
- What compliments would you speak?
- Where would you invest your time and money before, during and after the wedding?
- What type of wedding gifts would you get?
- Who would you let influence the decisions and choices of the Wedding party?
How would this perspective of “Seek to strengthen the relationship, rather than to amaze others!” change the way you look at weddings and marriage?
What impacts will that have on you and your wedding?
In 10 years time, what would you like to remember about your wedding? What would you regret missing out on your wedding day?
Your wedding is as real as you make it! Make your choice to have your wedding as a cornerstone for your marriage. Think about your values and what’s truly important for you and your relationships.
Personal & Professional Co-Active Coach
Member of International Coaching Institute (ICI)
Mariam Moussa – Coaching